Are You Really Listening

Hey Simplifiers,

Let’s be honest: most of us don’t listen to understand. We listen to respond. Or to fix. Or to jump in with our own story right after. It’s not that we don’t care; we were never taught how to listen actively. And when life moves a mile a minute, it’s easy to treat conversations like to-do list items. Quick responses. Surface-level check-ins. But true connection? That comes from slowing down and hearing what’s being said.

What is Active Listening?

Active listening means being fully present in a conversation—not just hearing words, but understanding emotions, asking thoughtful questions, and showing you care. It’s how we build deeper relationships, resolve conflicts, and show up for the people we love.

Here’s How to Practice It:

1. Stop multitasking.
   That’s right, put the phone down, eye contact matters. Distractions can wait.

2. Listen for what’s not being said.
   Sometimes, tone and body language tell you more than words ever could.

3. Ask questions instead of jumping in with advice.
   Try: “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next?”

4. Repeat back key points.
   It shows you were paying attention and allows the speaker to clarify if needed.

5. Validate feelings, not just facts.
   You don’t have to agree to understand. Sometimes, “that sounds tough” is the best thing to say.

Why It Matters:

Whether at work, in a relationship, parenting, or just texting a friend, how you listen determines how people experience you. Being a great listener doesn’t just help others feel seen. It enables you to become a better partner, leader, communicator, and adult.

Being heard is one of the most powerful human needs. And sometimes, showing up and listening is the most loving thing you can do.

Let’s be the kind of adults who listen to understand, not just to reply.
C🩶
Founder of The Simple Adult